The Ten Commandments of Gym Etiquette

We've all seen them.  The guys who grunt like gorillas as they flop weights on the floor (or their chest).  The guys who act like they're at a private pool party, or those who linger at a station without ever working out.  It seems every gym there is that one guy who just needs to be slapped upside the head for acting like an idiot.  However, if you follow these simple rules, you will make sure that you are not counted among the idiots --thus avoiding being smacked.

1.  Thou shalt work out at the gym!  You need a bench, but the last one has someone sitting on it.  You give him the benefit of the doubt.  "Maybe he is doing a strength program and is taking a 3 minute rest between sets," you say to yourself.  You look at the bar, loaded with a 25# plate on each side and shrug.  You finish two exercises (not sets, but two whole exercises) in the amount of time the lurker has done one set.  Now you need the bench and he is still there.  The urge to smack him bubbles up as you grudgingly walk to a chest press machine...

2.  Thou shalt not talk on your phone in the gym!  Ok, so there may be some circumstances that warrant a cell phone break.  But, if it is a true emergency, get off the equipment and take the call outside of the working area.  Your chatter is annoying, and to see you sitting in a power rack yakking on the phone while I am ready to do some heavy squats makes me want to break your phone...

3.  Thou shalt use proper form!  Yes, your body has some natural elasticity, but that does not mean you should bounce 350 pounds off your rib cage like a springboard!  If you can't lift the weight with proper form and accurate tempo, decrease the weight.  You may think it is none of my business, but in truth, if you splatter yourself across my favorite bench I may not be able to use it again.  Not to mention, it will be me, or someone like me, dropping our own workout to run over and save you after we see you crush yourself into oblivion.

4. Thou shalt not claim multiple stations!  Okay, so if you are super setting or tri-setting and rapidly moving from one station to the next and back again with little or no rest, nobody will complain.  If anything, we will admire your hard work.  But, when you start claiming four or more stations, I will cut in and use the one I need.  If you are circuit training, I can likely get a set or two done before you cycle back to the one station I need anyway- but don't try to keep others away from every station in the gym.

5. Thou shalt clean up after thyself!  Seriously- you won't find me spitting on your back, so I expect you to clean up that pool of sweat you just made on the bench.  Most every gym provides squirt bottles and paper towels for this reason.  For those of us who sweat heavily- bring a towel to the gym with you.

6. Thou shalt not leave thy stuff lying around the gym!  Occasionally forgetting your keys next to a station is no big deal.  But, leaving Ipods, keys, wraps, belts, jackets, food, etc. on work stations you are not using is annoying.  I shouldn't have to pause to find an owner of a pile of towels to see whether they are claiming the station I need next, and I certainly shouldn't have to clean up after someone else.  It's a gym, not your living room.

7.  Thou shalt not drop the weights!  If you can't replace the bar after your set without making it sound like Godzilla just stepped on the roof, then you should go lighter.  Throwing massive amounts of weight to the ground with a furious roar may make you feel like a giant beast, but it makes you look like a giant jerk.  Additionally, it is not good for the weights, the floor, or your body.  Iron plates can split, machines can break, and your foot that you mistakenly thought was out of the way can be flattened.

8.  Thou shalt put away the weights!  Seriously, if you can't take the extra few seconds to put the plates back on the weight tree where you got them, you need to reevaluate how busy your life is.  While I know for some exercises putting the weights away can be an exercise in itself (thinking of 1,000 pound leg presses) aren't we there to lift weights?  So why not put them away yourself?

9.  Thou shalt not curl in the squat rack!  Alright, so it is convenient to curl in the squat rack.  However, is there anything more aggravating than walking into the gym, psyching yourself up to do some heavy squats with 1/4 ton on your back and then seeing all the racks taken by guys curling 50-60 pounds in them?  (If you are doing heavy curls above 225, I'll respect that, but even then you should be able to use a space other than the squat rack.)

10.  Thou shalt not socialize in the gym!  Of course you can ask someone for a spot when you need it, or maybe for a quick tip about form.  Other than that though, you should avoid saying much to anyone there.  We are there to work.  It is very easy to kill a workout by breaking into a "short" conversation instead of actively monitoring your rest periods.  Of course, you don't want to seem like a jerk either, but usually a slight nod or a quick hello and a wave are enough to let people understand that you are friendly, and serious about your workouts.  If you have things to chat about- catch them on the way out of the gym.